Off Limits: A Friend's Advice on Love, Plautus Curculio 35-38

Off Limits: The Ultimate Dating Guide to Ancient Rome

Name:  Plautus Date:  254 – 184 BCE Region:  [modern Italy] Citation:  Curculio 35 - 38

In the play Curculio, Palinurus offers Phaedromus advice on navigating dating in Rome. This offers insight into Roman customs on who was eligible for romance (i.e., single adults) and who was off limits (i.e., married people and children).

 Nobody’s going to stop you from walking down a public street, 

But don’t step on anybody else’s metaphorical lawn.

As long as you stay away from a bride, a widow, a young woman,

A young man, and freeborn children, you can love whomever you’d like.

 

 
Latin Text: 

Nemo ire quemquam publica prohibet via;

dum ne per fundum saeptum facias semitam,

dum te abstineas nupta, vidua, virgine,

iuventute et pueris liberis, ama quid lubet.

Plautus [Titus Maccius Plautus; 254 – 184 BCE, modern Italy] was one of the earliest Roman authors that remain extant. He was born in northern Italy in the 3^rd century, and spent the entirety of his life in and around the stage. Although many of his works are lost, we have nearly two dozen of his comedies still extant. The impact of Plautus is still seen today; his works were the basis for the famous musical A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum.

Girlfriend, be merciful to my boyfriend: Tibullus, Carm.1.8.27-28, 47-51, 67-78

Name: Tibullus [Albius Tibullus] Date:  55 - 19 BCE  Region:  [modern Italy] Citation:  Elegies 1.8.27-28,47-51,67-78

Tibullus offers love advice to his ex-lover Marathus and Marathus' new love interest Pholoe:



Pholoe, remember to not be so hard on the poor boy (puero),

Or Venus, the goddess of love herself, will smite you for your wretched deeds.

But remember to use your beauty while it’s in bloom; it does not last for long.

Stop torturing my boyfriend Marathus: what good in there in gloating over a defeated lover?

It’s totally ok to be mean to creepy old men, but go easy on this tender teen.



And you, Marathus, stop crying: her mind’s made up, her behavior won’t change, she’s just making your eyes all puffy and swollen from crying.



But I warn you, Pholoe, the gods hate the hard-hearted, and they won’t listen to your lip service.

Marathus used to play these games with his wretched partners (amantes), not knowing that the love god had a bounty on his head. He often used to laugh at his lover’s tears, and stand up his dates with made-up excuses. And now he hates the dating game, now he hates excuses and games.

Learn from his mistakes, don’t be as hard-hearted as him, or you’ll rue the day you acted this way!
Nec tu difficilis puero tamen esse memento:
     Persequitur poenis tristia facta Venus....
At tu, dum primi floret tibi temporis aetas,
     Utere: non tardo labitur illa pede.
Neu Marathum torque: puero quae gloria victo est?
     In veteres esto dura, puella, senes.    
Parce precor tenero:...
Desistas lacrimare, puer: non frangitur illa,
     Et tua iam fletu lumina fessa tument.
Oderunt, Pholoe, moneo, fastidia divi,
     Nec prodest sanctis tura dedisse focis.      
Hic Marathus quondam miseros ludebat amantes,
     Nescius ultorem post caput esse deum;
Saepe etiam lacrimas fertur risisse dolentis
     Et cupidum ficta detinuisse mora:
Nunc omnes odit fastus, nunc displicet illi            
     Quaecumque obposita est ianua dura sera.
At te poena manet, ni desinis esse superba.
     Quam cupies votis hunc revocare diem! 

Tibullus [Albius Tibullus, 55-19 BCE] was an Italian born equestrian Roman who lived during the tumultuous transition of Roman government from republic to monarchy.

His volumes of elegies provide insight into the lives and customs of Roman aristocrats. Like Catullus and Propertius, Tibullus used a pseudonym for the objects of his attention; many of his love poems were addressed to either “Delia” or “Marathus."